Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Talking 'bout (not my) generation

The train has been a f**kng mess.  People have been riding to avoid the weather-induced traffic, and I get that.  In fact, it's fine...as long as you understand how basic train etiquette works.  Here's an example:
If the train is full, and people are possibly having to stand in the aisles, you must remove your bags and lunch bags from the seat next to you, so someone else can sit down.  

Here's what happened this afternoon:
I get to the train with 4 minutes to spare.  I move swiftly to the last car, thinking there will be more spaces there, since usually people are lazy about walking to the end and I can get a prime seat.  I get to the last car, and there are two seats available, one facing forward and one facing backwards.  I have to face forwards or I get sick immediately, so I stand next to the seat that is holding two lunch bags and a purse, waiting for the girl who owns them to move them.  She gives me a solid dirty look, and I motion for her to move them (we both had our headphones in).  She rolls her eyes, moves her lunch bags to the table in front of her and pulls up her giant purse so I can sit down.  I roll my eyes back at her, and sit down.  She then proceeds to PUT HER PURSE BACK ON MY LAP.

Yes. You read that correctly.  She literally put her purse back on my lap, as though I was some sort of seating fixture.  So, I pushed her purse back on to her, and gave her what I believe is the ultimate look of hatred.  Then I realized that she was with the guy across from her. How did I realize this, you might ask?  Because they started texting each other and looking at me and laughing, and then texting each other. Here's how I imagine their texting conversation:

Her:"Wow, this girl that just sat down is incredibly beautiful"

Him: "I know! Can you see if you can get your purse to touch her?  Maybe her essence will rub off on you"

Her: "OMG! Great idea!  I'm going to put it on her lap!"

Him: "WTF are you doing?! She looks so pissed right now!!! Why did you put it on her lap?!"

Her: "IDK!!! I'm so sorry, she has such a winning personality and dazzling smile, I became overwhelmed with greatness!"

Him: "Let's look at her and smile so she knows we're not mad"

Her: "OMG why did you laugh at her?!"

Him:"I laugh when I'm nervous, I want to be just like her!"

Her: "You are SO embarrassing! Let's get off the train right now!"

Me: I'm so flattered! Thanks, kids!

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